Love is Love

Not even a year ago you would know me as the girl that never wanted kids. Even the sound of the word "baby" made me want to run in the opposite direction. I really thought I would be fine for the rest of my life with out kids. But one day recenlty, it hit me. Nothing happened to make me change my mind. I just did. And it's definitley not in my near future, but in the next 5 years I plan on it.

Which brings my to my point.... Before I ever thought about having a family I never put much thought into gay rights. But as I am getting older, the thought that I won't be able to marry the one I love and have the same rights as everyone else really gets to me. No, I do not need a piece of paper to prove anything. But it's not about proving something. It's about having the right of having joint parenting, joint adoption, joint custody, inheritance, tax benifits, etc. If something were to happen to me, my girfriend would not have the right to any of my property or the things that we bought together unless I left a will. If we had a child that one of us adopted, she wouldn't have rights to the child.

I think more often than not, Lesbian relationships are not taken very seriously. Whether it's by society or by the actual people involved in the relationship. The truth is, there are actual girls that really are in love with each and because of the stereotype and people that give us a bad name, we can't be taken seriously. It is true, many lesbian relationships don't last becuase most "lesbians" aren't really lesbians and end up leaving the realtionship and going back to guys. So... thanks for giving us a bad rep.

Hopefully one day we will all have the same rights, but until then I am going to continue to do what makes me happy regardless of what society thinks. :)

..HOPE..

Acceptance

Equality

These give me hope and make my heart smile.

Who knew...

3-4 years ago I didn't know anyone that I know now. Every person that means anything to me now I have only known for a few years but it has felt like I have known them forever. I only keep people in my life that are worth keeping around.


Brittany. My first girl love and my only girl love. I will always have a connection with her that I will never find with anyone. We have more in common than I have ever had with anyone. There is just something about her, about us that will never go away. We have been through the good, the REALLY good, the bad and the realllly bad. we have been through it all. The past few years have been a roller coaster, but she means the world to me and I think if we have made it through what we have already, we can make it through almost anything. If you have seen the two of us together, you know that the love between us is hard to find.

We are far from perfect and we all have made mistakes. Some people have made it really hard for us over the years, some judge, some don't support us and others are there for us regardless. But ultimately, the people that have supported us are the only people I need in my life.



Dunja. She has been my back bone at times. She knocks sense into me and isn't afraid to tell my I am a fucking idiot when I am making decisions that probably aren't in my best interest. And for that, I love her. She says it like it is but has always supported me regardless. She is my "straight date" a few times a week. Only knowing her for a few years I know that I can trust her no matter what. She has such a good heart and is one of the most open minded people I know. When I first told her I was gay I was so scared of what she would say, but if anything she was offended I didn't tell her sooner and she is so happy to have a gay friend!!!

So, she's alright... I guess. Oh, not to mention she delivers Starbucks to me a couple times a week.

I have so many friends that mean so much to me. Tiffany, Chelsea, Pimpin, Dreem, Jill, and so many more of you. Each of you have taught me so much, been there for me through everything and I could write pages and pages about each of you! And I will get around to it in the mix of posting things about my crazy past, rants and raves, pet peeves, my favorites, etc etc. I love you all and you each have had an impact on my life in a positive way. <3

Here's my introduction...

I have been told many times by many people that I should write a book about my life. If there is one word to describe my life it's "CRAZY". Plain and simple. Since I don't have the time or patience to write a book, I decided to do this blog. So, welcome to the days in the life of Ash Nichole winn. AKA Tiny, Smalls, ash hole, smash, or whatever you may know me as or like to call me. I am open and don't really hold back. I can't hide my emotions, they are constantly written all over my face.

Oh, and btw I am a lesbian if you don't already know that. Hence the reason for "Lezbi-honest". I remember what it was like before I came out. I was so curious and scared! If I saw lesbians, I was so intrigued by them. Now that I am out and had my rounds, been in the "scene" I know that Lesbians (at least SLC lesbians) have just as many or more problems than most straight couples. I know many people don't support my life style, although I have had an overall great experience since I have come out. I know that most people already have the views and opinions, but I think everyone always has more to learn in life. You may learn something that will change you and open your mind and your life.

I have great people in my life, a great job and a great life. My life isn't as crazy as it used to be. But I have many experiences that most people have never experienced and probably never will. I am going to write a weekly story about my past and my life. Some may be funny, sad, emotional or may make you wonder how I am still alive and somewhat normal haha.

Oh and the cake, I love it. Because I love cake. Not only is it cake, but its a gay rainbow. Someone bake this for me for my birthday.